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| Genital Massage |
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It is important to know that there are many tips of intimate massages: Sensual massage oil, sacred spot massage, tantric massage (Lingman and Yoni massages), and female massage.
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Lingam massage: a massage for MEN. |
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What is this type of massage?
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This is a type of Tantric massage. The male sexual organ is called Lingam and is loosely translated as "Wand of Light." In Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored, as a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure. |
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Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it can be a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam , also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (prostate) externally, allowing the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be accustomed to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage.
Men need to learn to relax and receive. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective. |
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Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation. |
Pour a small quantity of oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands. |
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Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.
If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. |
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Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is the key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a much expanded sex life. |
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Find and massage the male sacred spot. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger midway between the testicles and anus. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be uncomfortable at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his sacred spot with your left hand. |
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Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. The man may have strong emotions come up during access to the sacred spot. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. You, the giver, are creating a place of trust and intimacy. |
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When he feels complete (with the massage), gently remove your hands cover him and keep him warm. Most importantly, allow him to rest quietly for at least five to ten minutes. |
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Sacred Spot massage: the massage of the prostate gland in men. |
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The G-Spot or Sacred Spot of a man is his prostate gland. Tantric philosophy considers the G-Spot a man's emotional sex center. Massaging the man's prostate releases tremendous amounts of emotional and physical stress. Coupled with stimulation of his penis or "lingam", massaging his prostate can be extremely pleasurable and healing to the man. |
Since the most direct way to massage the man's Sacred Spot is through his anus, it takes time to adjust to being penetrated in this way. It is not for every man. The benefits are many and the pleasure can be very intense.
For tantric partners, lovers or those otherwise genuinely comfortable with one another, massaging the sacred spot can be a powerful experience. Not only in terms of ecstatic pleasure for the "receiver", but in the sexual empowerment has it bestowed on the "giver".
The walnut sized prostate gland is located directly underneath the bladder, not far from the internal root of the penis (see diagram). As can be seen, the gland is in close proximity to the rectal wall, allowing for easy access through the anus. |
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Why is prostate massage pleasurable?
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There are number of reasons:
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Ejaculation reflex sensation
No matter which method is used it is not possible to touch the prostate directly. The nearest indirect access is through the rectal wall, which means that there is still a membrane in the way. Despite this restriction the lobes of the prostrate are highly sensitive to pressure. An array of sensations may be produced by pressing, rubbing or by means of stroking the gland through the rectal wall. The most profound of these feelings is similar to that sublime sensation which is normally felt during ejaculation, as the prostate begins pumping semen.
- Anal sensitivity
Along with the genital areas, the anus is connected to and interwoven with millions of delicately sensitive nerve endings, which can yield most pleasurable sensations.
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Hidden penis
Unknown to most, over one third of the penis is buried inside the body. It is the base of the (hidden) penis which may be pressured in a similar manner as the prostate. The effect of stimulating all three can be awesome, if done in concert with genital stimulation. Still more overwhelming than the physiological effects is the psychological aspect of prostate massage, due to the unaccustomed nature of penetration of the receiver.
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Psychological high
As powerful as physiological stimulation might be, it pales when compared to the immeasurably greater psychological or mental high. The very notion of the male placing himself into such a vulnerable position, results in a powerful mental rush, for both receiver as well giver. The willingness of the naturally controlling male to allow himself to be placed in an unaccustomed submissive role, should be particularly cherished by the giver.
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As in any intimate activity, certain basic rules apply. The receiver should be meticulously clean. The giver should have available form fitting latex surgical gloves. It's desirable for a number of reasons to use gloves, of which the first and foremost benefit is to protect the delicate anal membranes from sharp fingernails and rough skin. Secondly, a well lubricated rubber surface will glide more easily than naked skin. Lubrication should be water based, such as K-Y jelly. |
Taking a hot bath or shower prior to the massage is a good way to relax. While bathing the receiver will find it pleasurable to fantasize on the experience to come. |
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• Face to face (for greater intimacy)
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While completely naked, the receiver should assume a seated position; his back reclined and supported by large firm pillows (at about a 45 - 65 degree angle). His knees pulled in the direction of his chest and somewhat angled outward. The resulting position should be both comfortable for the receiver, as well as allowing the giver unobstructed view and unfettered access to the anus and genitals of the receiver. The giver may sit cross legged, or kneel in front of the receiver.
As a way to relax the receiver, the giver may begin by massaging the receiver's lower extremities, particularly the abdomen. Initially, the receiver may choose to relax by closing his eyes, but as the massage progresses it is of great importance that the receiver and giver maintain eye contact.
It will be up to the giver to decide when the receiver is sufficiently relaxed and aroused. At this time the giver should unobtrusively slip on a glove and to begin lubricating the receiver's anus. The lubrication process should be lengthy and ceremonial. Beginning with circular motions, and stroking the anal opening. The objective is to pleasure and relax the nervous rosebud. |
The giver should "never" poke the anus with the tip of the finger, but to gently and firmly apply pressure with the pad of the finger. Continuously add lubrication; there can never be too much lubrication! When the anus is ready it will allow the finger to enter. All that is needed is time and patience.
Remarkably, when the moment comes the giver will notice that the finger will seem to be drawn into the anus. Once the finger has been allowed to enter it is best to be still allowing the anal sphincters the chance to become accustomed to the intrusion. It will not be a good idea for the giver to move their finger in and out of the anus. There should only be one reason for the giver to remove the finger, and this would be to add more lubrication.
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The giver is now ready to seek out the prostate: this can easily accomplished by crooking the inserted finger upwards, and feeling for a "roundish" to oblong protrusion about 2 inches inside the rectum. Applying pressure to the prostate will provide a variety of sensations, the most desirable of which is the feeling of impending ejaculation. By applying more or less pressure to the gland, the giver will be able to control these sensations; even to the point of inhibiting the receiver from ejaculating. The ability to control ejaculation through prostate massage, allows for nearly unending stimulation of the receiver's genitals. The penis may be massaged by the giver, or by receiver himself, to a point of near ejaculation. Only to be kept on the brink by varying pressure on the prostate.
During the arousal cycle the giver may begin to rhythmically move the inserted finger partially in and out, so as to stimulate the rich and super sensitive nerve endings around the anus.
Eye contact is most desirable at the resolution phase of the experience, with the receiver and giver gazing into one another's eyes. various scenarios are now possible:
A. The giver will allow the receiver to masturbate himself to achieve ejaculating. All the
while the giver will be verbally encouraging the receiver to the moment of climax.
B. The giver may masturbate the receiver's penis with one hand, while massaging the
receiver's anal opening or prostate with the other. Both giver and receiver should
communicate intently, so as to allow the greatest pleasure for the receiver.
C. The receiver may desire for the giver to "milk" his prostate, without direct stimulation
to the penis. To achieve this, the giver will gently stroke each lobe, resulting in a
gentle flow of semen and the emptying of the prostate through the erect or flaccid
penis.
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| • Facing "away" from the giver (a magnificent view for the giver) |
In this position the receiver will be kneeling, knees apart, buttocks elevated, while the elbows are resting on a firm surface, such as a cushioned floor matt. This should be both a stable and comfortable position for the receiver.
The giver may kneel or sit spread legged behind the receiver, having easy access and a perfect view, of the receiver's anus. The giver will also be in a position to reach between the receivers legs to allow stimulation of the genitals.
From this point you can follow the same procedure as in the face to face method.
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Yoni massage: a massage for WOMEN. |
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What is this type of massage?
This is a type of Tantric massage. Yoni means vagina and is loosely translated as "sacred space" or "Sacred Temple." In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is particularly important for men to learn.
Before beginning the Yoni Massage it is important to create a space for the woman (the receiver) in which to relax, from which she can more easily enter a state of high arousal and experience great pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) will experience the joy of giving pleasure and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of "safe sex" and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not solely to achieve orgasm, although orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal can be as simple as to pleasure and massage the Yoni. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and do not have to worry about achieving any particular goal. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return, but simply allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself.
The massage |
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to breathe deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or begins to take shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is most important. |
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Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to encourage the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching her Yoni . Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni . Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni . Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni . Spend time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage. |
Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver should tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. need to be increased or decreased. Limit your conversation and focus on the pleasurable sensation, too much talking will diminish the effect. |
The crown jewel |
The clitoris is an amazingly complex structure, similar in function to the male's glans, but surprisingly - up to four times more sensitive. The glans portion of the clitoris holds 6,000 - 8,000 sensory nerve endings, more than any other structure in the human body. This hypersensitive node has only one purpose: pleasure. Nothing exceeds its ability to receive and transmit sensations of touch, pressure or vibration. The glans is the "crown jewel" of the clitoral system! |
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Stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to relax and breathe. |
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Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left, it has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. It is important to remember that this is a massage in which you are nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.
With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, "the sacred spot". |
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She may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or most hopefully pleasure. Vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky. |
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Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is gently massaging her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand." |
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You can use your left hand to massage her breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use the thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of the hand resting on, and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Continue massaging, using varying speed, pressure and motion, all the while continuing to breathe deeply and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. |
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Some women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of immeasurable value to her. If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave." |
Ending the massage: |
slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to relax and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality. |
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Female massage: a massage for WOMEN. |
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Why is the back so important?
Although it is rarely considered or appreciated, the face down position is perhaps best for massaging the female body. This is not to imply that the front should be neglected, only that the back should be paid more attention.
Why is the back so important? There are two primary reasons: |
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- The first is simply a design of nature. In the natural world males always approach (and join) with the female from the rear. Evolution has designed the female genitalia to be entered from the rear, as opposed to the face to face, western "missionary" position. Nerve endings of the female genitalia are genetically arranged to be most responsive from the rear. The inside of the thighs and labial lips are more sensitive to touch, when stroked from the rear (as opposed to the front). Some would argue that face to face intercourse is more intense and fulfilling. This may be true on a purely emotional level, even without optimizing the physiological connection. It's simply a matter of which is more important, the mind or the body. During love making the mind is often capable of reaching significantly higher levels than the physical being.
- Another reason that massage from the back may have an advantage, is that a woman often feel more comfortable and relaxed, as her body is less exposed. The feeling of the "face down" position is conducive in fostering a sense of well being, which in turn makes it easier for the woman to "let herself go".
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Preparations:
A carefully arranged and nurturing atmosphere is essential to achieving the greatest possible pleasure. Plan on at least one hour (at a very minimum) of completely undisturbed and uninterrupted time. The massage can be conducted on a reasonably firm bed. The room should be warm and draft free. A significant amount of oil should be expended during the massage. Always keep in mind that you can never apply too much oil. Do not spare the oil, lavish it! Use only specially formulated massage oils. A wide range of scents are available, of which the most pleasing should be selected. Be sure to arrange a number of bath size towels to protect the bedding from the excess oil. Soothing music and candlelight will greatly enhance the atmosphere. Turning off the telephone is absolutely essential! Prior to the massage, it may be desirable to take a short shower, as opposed to a hot bath. A bath often tends to loosen the outermost layer of skin, which when waterlogged will shed (creating gritty particles) and interfere with the massage.
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Beginning the massage
Instruct the receiver lay face down; her face resting either on her own crossed forearms or a flat pillow. You (the giver) will be seated on the edge of the bed or platform. The receiver's midsection may be covered with a towel, for the purpose of warmth and modesty [depending on the depth of your relationship].
Begin the massage by exposing the receiver's shoulders and neck. Pour a liberal amount of oil into the palm of your hand, and rub both hands together vigorously so as to warm the hands as well as the oil. Avoid pouring the oil directly onto the skin, unless it has been previously heated. Although you are performing a sensual massage, the pressure you exert may be firm enough to have some therapeutic value. Be sure to use sufficient pressure so as not to tickle the receiver, most particularly the neck, shoulders, arms, hands, back, buttocks and legs. The genital region will require the least pressure and the greatest sensitivity. The massage should be performed in a radiating manner... neck and shoulders, arms and hands, individual fingers, back, thighs, calves, feet and toes. As the receiver becomes progressively more relaxed, the towel covering her waist may be removed.
The rest of the massage
The buttocks may now be massaged in a circular motion, followed by long vertical strokes beginning at the waist and ending at mid thigh. Each stroke moving progressively further inside the thigh, toward the labial lips. Alternately stroke the base of the crease between the buttocks, brushing along the anus (rosebud). After stroking the rosebud, allow your hand to glide down to the labia. This should be repeated in an up and down motion (from above the rosebud to the labia and back up again). Do not penetrate the anus or vagina during this phase of the massage.
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Position the receiver's legs somewhat apart. Too wide is not necessary. Gently grasp and stroke the labial lips with your fingers. After the lubrication seeping from the receiver's vaginal opening becomes more evident, begin to stroke the clitoral hood. If the clitoris is already exposed and swollen, begin to rub it directly, using the pads of two fingers (index and pointer). Be very careful not scratch with your fingernails! Vary the amount of stimulation to clitoris, through speed and pressure. Ask the receiver which she prefers. The answer may vary from one individual to another. |
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As her level of excitement grows begin gently reach into her vagina [which should be quite open at this point] and massage sides of the vaginal opening. You may continue to stimulate the clit with the pad of your thumb. Or you might massage her rosebud with the pad of your thumb, while twirling the clit with two other fingers. Do not enter her anus unless she desires this. It is recommended to use a latex glove, to be sure that there is no possibility of irritating this most sensitive area.
After becoming aroused some women may reflexively begin to raise their pelvis, by pulling in their knees closer to their chest.
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This position not only raises their rear end, but further exposes the clit, vaginal opening and rosebud. Caressing and stroking these magical elements simultaneously or alternately can produce a virtually endless cycle of orgasms. |
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